Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
