I think I died a long time ago.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
All the doctor said was why
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
