we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he fucked my hip out of place.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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