he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
