are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
