i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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