Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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