Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
