I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize