i barfeds in our rink
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
