No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I understand Curling. That high.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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