I want to stick my p in your. b.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
