Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have fence marks all over my body
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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