My balls are so social today.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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