Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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