lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
