Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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