I wanna bring you to show and tell
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
