Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We got so high we made milksteak
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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