He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
