suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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