her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
