So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
