it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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