You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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