Ketchup is God's man juice
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
