covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
