We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize