How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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