If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
