i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i wish my penis had a tongue
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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