i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize