It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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