eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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