The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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