In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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