she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
