Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
