Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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