Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
