Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
