i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
