He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
