i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize