My friends, they love my intelligence
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
