1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
