oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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