whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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