I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
