Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
