Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i came on her dog
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
3 2 1 whiskey
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
