Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
