Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
