k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize