He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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