Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
