i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize