I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
