dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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