when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
