the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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